Sometimes this quest to heal my eyesight feels really hard. There are days that I don’t want to have to spend forty-five minutes doing acupressure and eye exercises and juicing. And some mornings, a pile of greasy bacon washed down with a pot of coffee sounds really really GOOD.
Last week was a relapse week. I drank wine or beer nearly every night, downed an entire basket of fries at a local brew pub AND had three days where I drank two cups of coffee instead of the one I now allow myself. And despite my commitment to work out every day, I only managed to plug in my Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 workout CD three times over the past seven days.
So here I am at the start of a new week, trying to get back into the groove and not punish myself too much for my continued scew-ups over the past few days. I just keep repeating this question in my mind: What if someone could guarantee me that I could keep my eyesight if I just eat lots of raw organic vegetables, eliminate processed foods, cut down on meat and dairy, limit my coffee and wine intake, exercise daily, reduce stress, do my eye exercises, limit my reading/writing time, and keep gong with acupuncture and Chinese herbs? Would it still be so hard? Or would the guarantee of eyesight make it a no-brainer?
Putting this in writing is helpful because while I don’t know for certain that all of the changes I’ve made and steps I’m taking will save my eyesight, I’ve had enough experience with this disease and enough dire conversations with retinal specialists to know where my eyesight is headed if I do nothing. And while doubt sometimes creeps in, I know that I’ve already benefitted (eyesight included) since embarking on this eyesight-healing quest.
My sister, Connie, once sent me this poem to keep me going on my book-writing quest on those dark days when finishing it and getting it published seemed like an impossible feat. I’m sharing it here as a reminder to myself and anyone reading this that ANYTHING is possible as long as we keep pushing forward.
Don’t You Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Decaf coffee isn’t so bad. 🙂 And I will be sure to set a good example next time we are together! We are all rooting for you Ing… be good to your body and show us how healing happens! Love you~
I’m trying. Determined to climb back in the saddle today. Honestly – I just need to break my coffee habit altogether and switch to tea. Love you, Pam. Thank you for your amazing friendship xoxo
I love that poem – it’s a good one for all of us. I can only imagine what you’re going through, but I do know making changes and creating new habits is not always easy. I’m trying to kick a life-long sugar addiction, and lose weight, and there are days I just wish I could eat a big bowl of ice cream and not feel guilty or bad for doing so. Good luck to you. You’re in my prayers! Hugs, Cindy
Thanks, Cindy. Yeah…I love this poem. I used to have a laminated copy hanging on my wall and it got lost in an office move shuffle. I need to print it out again and hang it around my neck on those days that just seem really hard! Good luck with your weight journey. We can do this! xo
Love this poem and appreciate your brutal honesty. Be kind to yourself as you get back on track. Try half calf and give yourself credit for being human. Let me know if you will be in NJ this month. It would be lovely to meet up. Sending you all positive healing energy.
Thanks, Jamie. I am trying to be kind and just stand back up. I would love to see you.Turns out I’m not coming to New Jersey but I will be in NYC for three days from the 26th – 28th of Sept. Any chance you can get away and come into the city or breakfast on Saturday, the 28th? Would be my treat.
Let me know. xo – ingrid
Hi Ingrid,
I’m right there with you! I have RP and have been trying everything possible to halt and reverse the progression. Your blog inspired me to finally try the acupuncture and I think it helped. Some days it feels impossible to do all the things that need to be done for my eye health — on top of everything else. Thank you for the emails– it helps to read your perspective. This disease can feel so isolating at times. I’ve found great comfort in your blog.
In Solidarity,
Ashley
Thanks for your note, Ashley. Makes my day that my blog is helping you in some way. This is hard – but I know we can do it. We just have to fight through the tough times and KEEP GOING.
How is it that you always pen the exact lessons I need to hear, at precisely the right time? I need to tattoo that poem to the inside of my eyelids (except I don’t want another tattoo) so that I can read and reread it over the next few weeks. Love you soul sister. Thank you for taking the rest of us along on the journey.
Steph – we should get together and do a joint tattoo on our forearms…or just use a sharpie. I love you — just keep plowing forward. Inch at a time…! xo
Yes Ingrid this RP is not easy. The important thing is to Go back on track as soon as you can. So continue your good work and don’t be to hard on yourself. Love to read your blog.
I know you’re right, Marie-Josee. I did start the week right yesterday and I’m just trying to be nice to myself and move forward. Thanks for your kind words. xo
I think we all have times when we stop doing what’s best for us – it’s human, and maybe in a way, that behavior is a good thing, sort of like a vacation. Anne Shirley, of Green Gables fame, liked to say ‘Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.’ I know you’ll stay strong and get back on track. Put this past week behind you and go forward. Best wishes and sending you a hug over the internet.
Thanks, Alysa. I so appreciate you xoxo
Your such an inspiration 🙂
Love the poem
You’ve come so far my friend…
Fighting for our sight…may they
find a cure soon
Thank you for your incredible words, Tammy. Yes…we’ve just got to keep fighting and doing everything we can..and be there for each other on those tough days xo
Thanks for sharing that poem, Ingrid – you are an amazing person and it’s okay to have bad days/bad weeks. The important thing is to just try your best and not beat yourself up. Sharing your journey is an inspiration for anyone struggling with anything! (And you even called me this day to wish me a happy birthday!)
love you – xo juli
Thanks, Juli xo
I’m so happy to have found your blog. This posting exactly describes everything I’ve been feeling in the last few months. A little over a year ago I started acupuncture treatments from my RP. It has also been a journey for me. After every trip, I feel like I learn something about how RP works and what I need to do to help my vision. My life now is very different than when I started and at times, I find it difficult to do everything while keeping my spirits up. Your blog is very inspirational. I feel motivated to continue the healing. Just like you, I juice every day. I run for exercise because I find it really increases my circulation and my vision is more clear. I really see the difference after a very long run of 8 to 13 miles. BTW, did I mention I hate running? I drink my herbal medicine twice a day and do my eye exercises. It’s comforting to hear someone else has the same journey. I will also be in Vancouver in early October. Maybe we will have a chance to meet. Happy healing…
Cindy,
Thanks so much for your note! Can’t wait to meet you – I will be in Vancouver starting Oct. 7th. see you there!
You are a guide for us. All you tries, all your days, all your words are the most valuable treasoure for us. Keep in the good way, your soul is more hard than iron and more shinning than ligth, you have to know this.
Pardon my poor english
Ruben,
Your words actually made me tear up a little. Thank you so much for your note. We can do this – together!!!
Best, Ingrid